Thursday, February 3, 2011

Man Up Little Boy

Being a Washington DC sports fan must be probably one of the most depressing things ever.  And I know depressed sports fans, being that I still remember the glory days of the Knicks with Patrick Ewing and John Starks and that I have been to an Orioles game.  But DC...hoo-boy, you guys have it BAD.  Long saddled with the Washington Senators in the beginning of the 20th center and the quip "first in war, first in peace, and last in the American League," sports in DC is a fairly depressing business, save for the occasional bright spots.

DC comforts itself by doing Independence Day right.

Not only that, but you have all these miscreant transplants (me being one of them) milling around your town and espousing loyalties to other teams not of the area.  Go to a Nationals game and you'll most likely see jerseys of the opposing team making up a large percentage of the spectators.  Hell, you can walk around the city and see quite a few Dallas Cowboys hats and jerseys.  This is akin to me parading around Boston in full New York Yankees gear, a crime which probably would earn me a drowning in a vat of Samuel Adams beer.

" tastes like scotch and shame..."

So if you're going to be a GM or an owner of a major national sports team (sorry, lacrosse), you're going to expect a lot of crap from people who have come in from other places (who know how a sports team should function) that have adopted the local sports teams and long time fans in the area who are simply being fed up with being known as the breather team on the schedule.

Apparently the "Boy Wonder" Dan Snyder didn't get the memo.  In response to the Washington City Paper's article "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," Snyder decided the brightest idea (outside of hiring Jim Zorn, of course) was to sue the Washington City Paper's parent company over the content of the article.  

Face of a genius.


You have to be honest, the team's gotten pretty cocked up, to put it gently, over the past few years.  Outside of the perennial genius of the Jim Zorn era, the more recent season exemplifies the hilarity of whatever strategy  he and his crack team of experts is implementing.  And when your team loses after watching your much hyped new coach falter and essentially pissing away two hundred million dollars, you're going to have to expect a hot ton of criticism piled on you.

I'm glad the money from my $10 beer went to a good cause.

Being a sports fan from the New York metropolitan area, I've been attuned to and "informed" about sports from probably one of the nastiest media arenas for sports you can think of.  Any loss inspires more analysis than I've seen this side of a Sunday morning political talk show.  Heaven forbid you turn in a playoff-less season or *gasp* a losing one.  Rarely does the media show you any mercy.  You more or less have to earn it.

Snyder should be damn thankful he isn't in that market.  If he sued one paper for giving him the business, he'd either go bankrupt paying lawyers suing pretty much every media outlet in New York City or wind up in the fetal position in his bathroom sucking him thumb and sobbing.

Toughen up or sell the team to someone who's got a plan or at least a tolerance for pointed criticism.  And don't clog up the judicial system with frivolous lawsuits.

Jack McCoy is not happy with you clogging up the judicial system.