Race

This weekend, due to a hangover, my Indian friend, my white friend, and I (I'm Asian, just to clarify) sauntered into a Vietnamese restaurant to score some beef noodle soup. Afterward, we went into a nearby Indian grocery because apparently they have some really awesome mango juice. I made the quip that we were a walking joke at the point ("So a white guy, an Indian, and an Asian walk into an Indian grocery...").

We go in (I pick up a guava juice, for the record) and we go to the register. When we get to the register, the cashier (an Indian guy, if you forgot it was an Indian grocery) asked us how much the juice was. We didn't know, so he asked the other cashier (also Indian) what the price was on the juice. The other cashier said it was 99 cents. My Indian friend immediately agreed. The cashier immediate did one of those Russell Peters examples of "typical Indian behavior" and immediately did a finger wag and said "No no no no no no. It is not 99 cents. No no no no." He eventually ran back himself and checked the price. For the record, the price was $1.40.

Later that same weekend, my friend and I go to some bar in Halethorpe. Now this should've sent bells going off in my head. Halethorpe...bar...this isn't exactly going to be the Library Bar in LA or the Hudson Hotel Library Bar in NYC. But I thought "Hm...vaguely Irish name, must be an Irish bar. Can't be too bad, right?"

We show up to the place. There was a motorcycle outside what appeared to be a former residence that somehow scored a liquor license through some sort of coercion and rustling up of the local sheriff by some biker gang. I saw a motorcycle outside. Naturally, I thought to myself, "Hm...I wonder if there are any Asians in there" (I'm Asian, if you forgot already). My friend and I walked in and lo and behold there were no Asians. Instead, there were just several white people of the, um, upscale Appalachia variety looking at us. I don't know who they were staring at more: the young, clean cut college student or the Chinaman who was ruining their white haven. It didn't help that there was also some dude with a Confederate flag embroidered on his leather jacket. He probably owned the motorcycle outside. Thankfully, I was not the victim of a good ol' America Fuck Yeah moment gone wrong.