Legend of the China Specialist

Some people are not qualified to do certain things. For example, I am most certainly not qualified to pitch for the New York Yankees (although judging from the game on Saturday, April 18, 2009, I'm going to start to limber up my arm just in case they need someone...but that's another blog post). And a lot of people are not qualified to comment on national affairs.

In that category is Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan is qualified to do a lot of things. He can "act," (dispelling the notion that English skills are necessary for any Asian to succeed in the United States), sing, and now he's apparently a qualified analyst on what sort of government the Chinese people need.

Recently, since apparently carrying the Olympic torch bestows powers I never knew about, Jackie Chan felt qualified to commentate about democracy in the "People's" "Republic" of China. And apparently, the Chinese people aren't ready to handle democracy and "need to be controlled."

Yes, the Chinese, the folks who brought you such great things as paper, gunpowder, chopsticks, printing, and the majority of your local university's computer science department, can't handle democracy because they're too busy...I don't freaking know.

Seriously, dude. Your reasoning is because Taiwan and Hong Kong are "chaotic." Right...yeah...and what the hell is Pakistan? Or Somalia, for that matter? Or this guy's 21st birthday party?

Let's take a look at the facts: Hong Kong is fairly freaking tame, despite what John Woo's movies say about it. It's a bit rough around the edges sometimes, but what city isn't? And it's not like it's being toppled by a coup d'etat every week or so. Nor is Taiwan. The "troubles" they've been having are fairly negligible compared to the actual chaos occuring in other nations.

Furthermore, let's take a look at how you've benefitted from a free world. Much of the money you've made, Mr. Chan, has been made in countries where freedom and democracy are thriving. Just letting you know. Heck, had you not been from Hong Kong, it might've been very very different for you.

And what would you suggest? Mao didn't exactly work out for China in the long run. And what do you base your judgement on? Hong Kong and Taiwan are about as chaotic as a dim sum brunch.

Maybe it's time to go back to making Shanghai Mornings or whatever it is you do.