Substance-Free Jersey Shore Viewing

Having gone home and not having the cable package which includes MTV (but thankfully includes TNT and way too many hours of Law and Order) means not being able to watch the Jersey Shore episode that was shown on New Year's Eve. Then again, I hadn't been able to watch the show due to my lovely roommate repossessing the television to his room allegedly due to a real nasty but unconfirmed case of the flu.

Being home, I usually am not afforded the luxury of swilling cup upon cup of coffee or enjoying a glass of scotch before starting the review, which means that tonight (provided I actually finish the episode) will be the first viewing of the show I've done 100% without outside influence. Let's see where this goes.

So the episode starts with the post-sucker punch aftermath which more or less boils down to a seaside bar brawl. It's different I guess from the typical bar brawl for some reason. Maybe because at the shore there are less people named "Chains" or "Spider" there and more dudes named "Chaz" wearing board shorts. That also implies the decreased chance that someone's going to get a piece of their skull knocked out with a bike lock.

In this moment of crisis, however, "The Situation" manages to keep the primary mission in focus: hooking up with random girls. During the heated post-punch dust cloud, he manages to still keep his game going...and earn a reputation as a creep. Now what tipped everyone else off to that? The fact that he's kind of an old dude (28 I know is not that old but tanning beds do age you) really doesn't earn you point here...especially when you're trying to pick up women after one of your "crew" got socked. I guess you could admire the dedication, but there is a time and a place. And it's called a phone number.

I skipped over the entire part where Sammi meets Ronnie's parents, mostly because it doesn't look promising in the importance department.

This is also the part where I decided that going to sleep was of an entirely more important and fruitful proposition.

[Insert time gap of...um, I forgot how many days]

So after some time vegetating and not really having anything resembling an intellectual thought pass through my mind, I more or less have figured that I'm not going to be finishing the episode. Too much work. Plus, as of 8 Jan 2010, the episode got taken off line and won't be back up until 31 Jan 2010. So, you'll have to live with that.