Can't Find My Way Home

I wonder what would happen if I just gave up some of my vices? Is there anything to return to at all? Or have they just become such a part of me that taking them away will basically leave me with nothing? Really scary thought.

Truth, Bias, and the American Way

As some of you folks out there may well know, justice is never blind to anything. But sometimes, perhaps it should be wearing the blindfold just a little more often.

There is a brouhaha in the Justice Department regarding hiring practices. Much of it started earlier this month when various suits were filed by rejected applicants who suspect that they were not hired due to their past work with Democrats or fields such as environmental or social justice.

This is an issue which clearly does not fall under the umbrella of "borderline radical." The Justice Department was attempting to enforce a partisan hiring practice instead of a meritocratic one and made certain lifestyles preferential (i.e. conservative Christian). The government has no right to do this.

What irks me even more is the potential for the government to get away with these shenanigans. Does this mean I have to shift my leanings to conform with the current regime in place? Or even the fellow reviewing my resumes? Do I have to worry about whether or not some sort of deep seated unfounded belief about certain agencies may affect my hiring? These things should not play a part in government or any sort of hiring practices.

I Bother Because...?

So for those of you expecting a witty commentary on news...check back in a few. I might feel compelled to discuss something of global note.

(You might want to direct your elementary schooler away from this. Just saying.)

I'm writing this as the mixture of espresso and Bailey's is eating away at my stomach lining, a sort of physical manifestation of my mental state.

Or perhaps not. A sense of pain as a result of a decay would indicate some sort of heed being paid. But in reality, instead of being an agony, it's just a sense of general apathy. It still bothers me, but I'm not going to remedy it. I could go get something to eat to provide some sort of barrier between that devil liquid, but on the other hand I could just adopt a "wait-and-accept" attitude.

There a lot of things that are less than amusing about where I'm taking myself. I'm staring at a career path which is necessary yet less than glamorous, I can barely maintain a semi-meaningful conversation with most of the human populous, and I spend a large portion of my public social interactions in a state resembling a partial panic attack. Hell, sometimes I'm too fucking lazy to maintain my vices. Now how wrong is that? You ever hear an alcoholic just say, "Eh...fuck it. I don't feel like making the effort to score a bottle of cheap scotch. I'll just ride it out with some fruit juice."?

I suppose the apathy has some sort of benefit, such as getting rid of those aforementioned vices that are so damned hard to maintain (cigarette smokers make that shit look real easy -- trust me, maintaining a vice is hard fucking work). But when I'm trying to make sure I don't sound like an ass when chatting up a pretty girl or finding a way to not slam back a scotch before a social encounter it's not helpful.

I don't know if it's that I'm just lazy or if I'm just tired of it all. It's probably a combination of both. I've gotten tired of "improving" and seeing it not work, and so I just give up with the (perhaps) misguided notion that anything that I try to do to better myself is solely to make myself sleep easier and without the help of a double shot of rum on the rocks.

It's an ongoing battle to keep myself motivated a lot of the time to keep trying. "It's a learning experience," a lot of people say to me. Heck, I tell myself that. But dammit, I'm tired of fucking learning. When's the lesson over? And why is my lesson taking so damn long? Great, I just moved forward a couple of feet in a mile long journey while the rest of the travelers can spit a watermelon seed across the finish line. Why should I even bother?

But then, after I calm myself and bring down the overdrive, I realize that I'd rather be a couple of feet on my way than only one foot. Or maybe I just don't care enough to try to finish the mile long journey.

"Nah, you'll do fine in battle with this plastic butter knife and a couple of blow darts."

In an effort to possibly pander to the lumbering dictatorial and economic juggernaut known as the PRC, the US has decided to freeze the sale of weapons to the ROC.

Now I do understand that the US has a presence in the Taiwan Strait. But there is no real obligation for the US to be there. Looking at how things are going in certain parts of the world, the US isn't always going to be there. So if the US is really committed to defending the ROC, it should continue sales.

Unfortunately, the US has to utilize China to take care of problems that the US on its own cannot (or perhaps will not) solve. This was the same motivation that drove recognition during the later stages of the Vietnam War under Nixon.

It is unclear how long the US can dilly-dally on this issue. Even though cross-strait relations are improving, it is a matter of time when the saber-rattling gets more serious.